Just when you think you have your life somewhat, somehow calm, BAM, something happens. I know this is true with everyone And boy did we ever get a tough lesson this week. I was so proud of our little family. Robert was sleeping better, Caroline was walking with assistance and just a few weeks from being rodded, I was back on my diet, Web was feeling well and things were just smooth sailing. Then 3 days ago that all came to a screeching halt.
Every Monday morning, I go to my mom's morning group at the church. I thoroughly enjoy going, and try to make it every Monday no matter what. Over the weekend Caroline had a runny nose and I just hoped that she would be ok by Monday so we wouldn't miss it. Caroline goes into a room with children younger than her. I don't quite feel comfortable with her being in the class of her age group because those children are walking, running and doing what they should be doing and I didn't want to put Caroline in harms way, or put the ladies of the church in a bad situation of not being able to give Caroline the attention she would need. And let's face it, Caroline didn't know the difference at all.
This Monday morning was really no different than the others. My dad came to town Sunday and spent the night and he helped me with the kids in the morning. Caroline's nose was clear all was good in my universe! Even my dad and Caroline were practicing walking in the hall, which is something that we have been doing daily. We even had plans to pick up Caroline's new medical walker on Tuesday. Again, ALL WAS WELL IN OUR WORLD.
BAM! One of the nursery workers at the church came to the basement where I was in my small group and said, "Caroline fell and she is crying for you". Well this didn't cause huge alarm to me because she falls and goes boom and usually gets up, or wants mommy to kiss it. So I thought I would be going upstairs, kissing her owie and get back to my group. As soon as I walked in the door I knew that was not the case. She had "that cry". The one where I know something is hurting her more than the daily owie. I lay her down on the ground and immediately feel the heat on her leg and see the swelling. The ladies in the nursery are telling me she was just standing there, lost her balance, fell on her leg and just started crying. Of course, I do not blame these ladies at all. They could have been standing right next to her and it still would have happened. So, I pick her up, run down the stairs, put her in the stroller and realize Robert is missing! Not missing like you would think, our lovely mom's morning leader was taking care of Robert so I could participate in my small group without having to burp, feed, rock or whatever Robert needs. I thoroughly enjoy her help! I wish you could have seen the eyes of the moms in my small group. They were worried, sad, frazzled, trying to figure out what they could do to help me. And all I could say was, "find Robert".
These moms were rock stars. They helped me in ways they will probably never know and in ways that I could never repay. One mom gave me Ibuprofen for Caroline because for some reason I didn't have any in my diaper bag. A couple other moms were taking Caroline in the stroller outside to my car, and others were walking around the church trying to find Robert. I am sure we were quite the sight! And sadly, this whole time, Caroline is screaming and crying. Nothing any mom ever wants to hear.
So long story short, I call Web and tell him to meet me at the ER. I am sure he could hear Caroline in the background and know mama was not joking. This day will seriously go down in the record books. Not only did I speed the whole way to the hospital, but once we got settled, we called Web's sister, and had her pick up Robert from the hospital. He is only 9 weeks old and I didn't want him anywhere near the hospital germs. Never have Caroline or Robert been in a car with any other driver besides me or Web. So you know Caroline must have been bad, if I just let Robert go with Aunt Cori. Not that I don't trust her, but I have just never done it. We told her 2 scoops of formula per 4 oz of water, every 2 hours and we would be home as soon as we could. Bye bye.
5 long hours later in the ER, Caroline is medicated and splinted by the ortho resident because our ortho is in surgery. But he did see the x-rays in his surgery and advised the resident what needed to be done. After Web and I see the x-rays we immediately know to call Dr. E in Omaha and see if we can come earlier for rodding surgery because her leg is severely fractured. It's practically in 2 pieces. Before she is even splinted, we hear back from Omaha and Caroline has a surgery date of this Friday at 4pm. Record book. I mean seriously?? How do you even get something so quickly scheduled with one of the busiest orthos around? Well, you break your leg in half. Sad, but true.
There is so much more to this story, I will try to sum it all up in one sentence.
Caroline gets home, miserable, can't sleep, can't eat, wakes up miserable, can't eat, vomits, can't get comfortable, vomits, mom loses it, mom calls dad to make it better, dad calls ortho, ortho asks us to come in, ortho sees splint, ortho re-does splint, Caroline is comfortable, takes 4 hour nap, small bites of food, sleeps through the night, eats 3 meals today.
Longest, run on sentence EVER! But you get it. Our Sweet Caroline was miserable, and that made mommy miserable.
We leave tomorrow for Omaha with Robert and Mother in law in tow. I couldn't' bear to leave Robert. I felt like a bad mom as it was Monday being away from him for 5 hours then not being able to give him any attention when we got home. We are so lucky that Karen is able to join us to relieve us at the hospital and to stay with Robert at the hotel while Caroline is having surgery.
I feel like I have left out so much information. Well I know I have. I have so much going on in my head right now.
I want to scream every 4 letter word out there. I want to take away my daughters pain. I want to tell all my friends how lucky they are that they don't have a child with OI. I want to hug a mom whose child has OI, but I can't here. I want people to just feel what I am feeling for one minute so they know the pain I am in every time I have to lift my daughter and she cries out, just so they understand why I am not in a good mood. I just want to start last Monday over and wish Caroline had a runny nose and that we had to miss mom's morning. I want to not be rushing around trying to figure out what in the hell to pack for an Omaha trip that I am not mentally or physically ready for. I mean I was going in 2 weeks, I still had time to plan. I want to still be debating on what cupcakes to order for her school birthday party and her family birthday party. The thought that she will spend her 2nd birthday in a splint pisses me off. I mean she was broken on her 1st birthday WHY her 2nd!?! This will be her 3rd Halloween with a break. WHY?!?! I am not ready for this at all, but I know I can do it. I mean I don't even have the hard part of all this, Caroline does. Caroline is the one being put under, cut open, rodded, closed up, and splinted. Caroline is the one that can't take the bubble bath that she has asked me to give her, Caroline is the one that can't go to the park and swing and go down the slides like we do all the time. Caroline is the one that is suffering way more than me.
After reading all this, I hope you will pray for Caroline's surgery, for her doctors, for our travel and most of all for her patience (and mine). Telling a 2 year old no to all the things she loves is probably going to be the worst part of all of this.
Thank you for reading my venting! My next post will be positive. It will be of good news that Caroline's surgery was a success!
Love to all
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Waterproof mascara
The other day I treated myself to some new makeup. It wasn't necessarily anything I needed but I felt like I needed a little something different. I bought the usual, but they must have seen my exhaustion and they put eye lifting cream on me plus some new eye shadow. Of course, I fell for it, bought it, and came home with a gift with purchase! All in all, it was a good day!
As I was going thru my gift with purchase I noticed a mascara was in it. I was super close to throwing it out, but figured why not keep it. Then I thought long and hard on when was the last time I bought mascara that wasn't waterproof?
And I can tell you it was March 2009. How do I know that? Because that was when I found out I was going to be a pregnant bride. No, we didn't get pregnant, then decide to get married. (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!) But 2 months to the day we were going to walk down the aisle I found out we were pregnant with Caroline. Needless to say, I was an emotional basket case. And let's face it, in these past 2 1/2 years we have definitely had some heart ache, joys, scares, pretty much any emotion you can dream of, we have had it.
I have cried at our wedding, tears of joy, cried when we saw Caroline on the ultrasound machine, more tears of joy. And bawled when we found out at 32 weeks, there would be something different with Caroline. Tears of joy again, when she was born, and scared tears when we heard the words, Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Tears of sorrow, when she had her 1st break, plus tears of happiness because that day was also my 1st mothers day. Tears of being petrified when our Sweet Caroline was being wheeled back to surgery, tears of relief when they told us she was in recovery and the surgery was a total success. Tears of more excitement when we found out we were pregnant with #2! Tears of anticipation as we went to high risk appointments and waiting on the doctors to tell us #2 was going to be ok. Tears of joy when we found out it was a BOY! Tears of nervousness when we went in for delivery and knew 100% that Robert Joseph didn't have OI, or any form of skeletal dysplasia. And just recently tears of pride as we watched our daughter walk when we were told it may never happen.
It wasn't until last week, that I actually put away my waterproof mascara and put on my gift with purchase free mascara. You see the last 2 1/2 years have been many tears, both good and bad. But I finally feel like it is ok.
Why did I write about this now? Well, our Sweet Caroline will be 2 at the end of this month and when I think of all the things that she has gone thru in 2 short years I have a wave of emotions rush over me. I couldn't be more proud of the bravest girl in my world. Of course, I will probably bring out the waterproof mascara that day! And a couple days later, we will board a plane for her next surgery. And she will be my brave girl once again. And I will pull out my my waterproof mascara once again. But I will definitely bring out the freebie mascara as soon as we are home.
Love to all
As I was going thru my gift with purchase I noticed a mascara was in it. I was super close to throwing it out, but figured why not keep it. Then I thought long and hard on when was the last time I bought mascara that wasn't waterproof?
And I can tell you it was March 2009. How do I know that? Because that was when I found out I was going to be a pregnant bride. No, we didn't get pregnant, then decide to get married. (NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!!) But 2 months to the day we were going to walk down the aisle I found out we were pregnant with Caroline. Needless to say, I was an emotional basket case. And let's face it, in these past 2 1/2 years we have definitely had some heart ache, joys, scares, pretty much any emotion you can dream of, we have had it.
I have cried at our wedding, tears of joy, cried when we saw Caroline on the ultrasound machine, more tears of joy. And bawled when we found out at 32 weeks, there would be something different with Caroline. Tears of joy again, when she was born, and scared tears when we heard the words, Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Tears of sorrow, when she had her 1st break, plus tears of happiness because that day was also my 1st mothers day. Tears of being petrified when our Sweet Caroline was being wheeled back to surgery, tears of relief when they told us she was in recovery and the surgery was a total success. Tears of more excitement when we found out we were pregnant with #2! Tears of anticipation as we went to high risk appointments and waiting on the doctors to tell us #2 was going to be ok. Tears of joy when we found out it was a BOY! Tears of nervousness when we went in for delivery and knew 100% that Robert Joseph didn't have OI, or any form of skeletal dysplasia. And just recently tears of pride as we watched our daughter walk when we were told it may never happen.
It wasn't until last week, that I actually put away my waterproof mascara and put on my gift with purchase free mascara. You see the last 2 1/2 years have been many tears, both good and bad. But I finally feel like it is ok.
Why did I write about this now? Well, our Sweet Caroline will be 2 at the end of this month and when I think of all the things that she has gone thru in 2 short years I have a wave of emotions rush over me. I couldn't be more proud of the bravest girl in my world. Of course, I will probably bring out the waterproof mascara that day! And a couple days later, we will board a plane for her next surgery. And she will be my brave girl once again. And I will pull out my my waterproof mascara once again. But I will definitely bring out the freebie mascara as soon as we are home.
Love to all
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)